Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
