Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
