Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
