You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
