I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
