I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
