I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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