Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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