I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
