i will never coherently bang her
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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