just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
high people should be assigned attendants
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
