Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
