i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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