he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
