Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
