I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
