so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
