dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
i now understand why vodka
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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