you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
