sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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