i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Terrible idea I love it
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
