This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
