Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
