dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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