I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
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