She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
