I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
