are you still at the devil's house?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
