I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
