Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
