I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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