I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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