Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
