Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
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