How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
