living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
