girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
