Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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