I need help removing her.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
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