Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
