I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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