Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
