vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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