Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
