Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
