He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
