he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
