Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
