I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
