you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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