I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
